My sexual development began very early in life, even before starting my education. The journey to sexual awareness took place at my home and partially at school. Due to the fact that I had an extended family living within my family homestead, children of both genders lived together. We shared several facilities including bathroom, toilets, and the bedroom. The situation was necessitated with the limited resources that were available to my parents. Consequently, I had sexual awareness of myself noticing the differences between me and my female siblings and aunties that stayed with us. This paper narrates my sexual story from my childhood and highlights its influence on my future pastoral work.
In the course of the childhood games, I had my first sexual encounters with little girls with whom I played. In tandem with our curiosity, we pretended to be dad and mum and part of our roles involved sharing a bed. The sexual encounters were never penetrative as we did not have perfect knowledge of our bodies and the organs we possessed. A young girl, of whom my parents were taking care, was always my partner in such games. I always played a father and she played the role of mother. Our encounters were short-lived because her parents moved to a different part of the city. All that took place when I was still under ten years.
The next person with whom I had close encounter was a female house help employed to take care of us as young children. As my mum was working as a teacher in a local primary school, she could not manage to care of our family because of the busy schedule. As a result, she employed a number of female house helps to aid with some duties in the house. Some of these women were her distant relatives.
There was one young lady among them who was a bit older than me at that time. She took notice of me because I was the eldest of my siblings. That miss seriously wanted us to develop a close, secret sexual relationship. I feared her considering her age and the outcomes in case my parents found out the truth about relations between us. The lady was about five years older than me. Upon much insistence from her, I consented. However, our encounters were never to happen. Just about the same time, another more mature male servant came to our home. The man was interested in her and so they entered into a relationship.
My parents were extremely strict with both my siblings and me so we never engaged in sexual relations being young people. That was to change as we became teenagers and entered high school. I have been good at studying was selected to join a male high school far from home. I had to live on the campus for the entire duration of the term that lasted about three months after which there was a one-month break for holidays. It is during my high school days that I developed close and intimate relations with several ladies from girl schools. As is the norm, interschool competitions in sports and academics were often held. During such events, interactions with ladies were unlimited. Given that I was a top student, it was not difficult for me to win some very beautiful girls.
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During four years in high school, I initiated a number of relationships with numerous ladies. However, because of the strict rules that controlled our interactions, most of such relations never survived. The other hindrance was the lack of money to travel and communicate. Our interactions were commonly limited with several letters we exchanged in the course of the term. All that stopped every time we went home for the holidays because my parents would never allow me to court ladies while still in school. I had learned that from my sister who faced a severe punishment from our parents when they found a letter from her boyfriend.
Another incident during my high school years made me refrain from sexual relations. I became a member of the Christian Union. This group is known for the castigation of premarital sexual activities so I purposed to keep away from them. It became more of a duty on my part when I got elected as one of the union’s leaders. I became seriously accountable once assuming this position and stopped all the sexual relationships I had developed as a teenager.
After graduating from high school, I had a lapse in faith and commitment and got sexually involved with one lady. I strongly felt she had the potential to be my lifetime partner so I courted her. Our relationship crossed the boundaries to the point that we slept together. The situation could have been even worse if I had not relocated to another city just to keep myself away from her. Later on, I chose to terminate my contacts with that woman so that she could be out of my mind and plans.
My future work as a pastoral counselor will not be affected with my past sexual development and experiences. This is primarily because I do not have any child with any of the ladies with whom I had sexual relationships earlier in my life. The other reason is that I never had a painful break up with any of them. I just have some practical examples from my own life to share with the youths and other people whom I will counsel in the course of my ministry. I did not have any strong heartbreak that still requires healing.
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In conclusion, I really admire the story of my sexual development since childhood because it taught me a lot as I was maturing physically and psychologically. My parents were always there to monitor me and my siblings to ensure that we did not indulge in premature sexual relationships, and this has been highly assistive in leading me to the point where I look forward to be a successful pastoral counselor.